Superstitions – Poem (SW#27)

Heyo Bookaholics!

I needed to get this off of my chest!

It’s true, all of it.

I have so many necklaces.

I never used to care much about which one I wore,
they all mean something to me anyway.

The ones my boyfriend bought me,
or the few I received on my various birthdays
and that thing I bought online too;
all tying to memories,
like a ball on a string
I can use to pull the memories up.

I never really cared about which one I wore,
until my accident.
Then there were ones that brought bad luck,
one that I wouldn’t leave home without,
and one I refuse to wear again.

You’d think it’d make sense really,
since the pendant falls so close to your heart,
it’s like something is there
that can change your fate.
Maybe there is some energy flowing from the middle bead,
or running down the spiral charm
on its way to your heart.

That’s not how I see it though.
I never understood energies,
just feelings.

It was just easier to visualise that way.
Energies are funny.
Feelings are easier to identify,
but not to understand.

I wore a different necklace today,
for the first time in months.
It felt strange.

Wrong.

I didn’t know it was there really,
but if I reflect back,
the crushing anxiety,
lack of breath,
loss of motivation, and
how mentally drained I became…

It really makes sense don’t you think?

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Leave your opinions in the comments or alternatively on my social media channels!
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With Love Bree xx

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© Jasper+Spice 2018. All Rights Reserved. Please do not use without my permission. This post was not sponsored, all photos and graphics are of my own creation.
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How Have My Reading Habits Changed Since I Started On Bookstagram?

Heyo Bookaholics!

Happy Australia Day!

My first posts of my Bookstagram:

Prior to these, my little ol’ Instagram was nothing more than a confused lifestyle blog. I finally decided to change to a Bookstagram after following a few accounts and realising that the content I really wanted to blog about was books and not cafés and being outside!

Over the 4-ish years that I have been on the Bookstagram, I have experienced pressure to post, the sadness of not having enough followers; and wanting to close my account because well, I felt I couldn’t compare to other accounts. Despite all of this, I continued and pushed through to learn so much about the community, but also about myself as a person.

So, What have I learnt from Bookstagrm?

I have developed a strong connection and dedication to my books. It may sound weird but honestly, I feel like you have to to be able to take photos of them and not feel ridiculous about it. I scroll for hours through Bookstagram looking for inspiration for my next photo shoot and then I set up and snap away. It really gives me time to think and unwind, play with my camera and let out my creative side.

Thanks to Booksagram and the people on it, I read so many more diverse books. Books that I never would have picked up, but also books with controversial reviews just so I can have my own opinion on it. I’ve also put down a book that has been rated/ reviewed badly. There have been comics in my TBRs, historical fiction, mystery, and now a fair amount of contemporary; plus so many other things that aren’t just general fantasy as I used to stick to.

The Bookstagram community – or the book community in general – is the most supportive one I have come across. You’ll get fandoms who are crazy and yeah there are fandoms within the community, but the community as a whole is so inclusive and will stand up against anyone trying to tear another member down, but are also willing to accept everyone’s views on any conflict that occurs. People are so chatty and just fun to interact with, and everyone just wants the same thing. To be appreciated for their photos and have their opinions/ voices heard.

It’s been 4 years on the app and frankly, I’ve learnt to not care about a lot of things. Things like follower count and likes are nice, but I’m not going to get all upset over not reaching a certain goal. As long as all of the numbers I see are genuine, it’s really all I care about anymore. Of course, this may sound like I’m just trying to reassure myself (coming from a small account and all), and yeah it started off like that, and then I said: “why should I care?” My blog is what I love. Books and pretty photos are what I love. So why not just do what I love instead of trying to grow a number. I did just that and it helped me to just make my account more genuine. Abandoning a theme was the best thing I ever did. Posting the photos I love instead of ones that fit criteria really made me happy, and allowed me to take better photos as well as freely talk about my blog in the comments!

My reading habits changed once I stopped caring and started getting off of my arse to actually read instead of just photographing books. Then I followed some people from Australia, then Melbourne; found a book club and go out of the house! Instagram is good and all to socialise online but it is also a connection for people to actually talk and meet and make real-life connections over works of art.

Instagram is a brilliant platform for promotion and marketing and I’ll admit there are restrictions to the marketing aspect as people may not really want to go the extra mile when we say “link in bio”, thus losing readers. It would be great is Instagram allowed links in the comments, but it works for promo in many other ways. Ways I wish I can unlock the secrets too. Showing that there are still many things for me to learn from this app.

My Bookstagram posts now:

Drop your Bookstagram accounts in the comments below and I’ll give you a follow! Tell me your Bookstagram journey story too. I’d love to hear it!

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What is your Bookstagram journey story? Have you learnt anything?

Leave your opinions in the comments or alternatively on my social media channels!
Instagram // Goodreads // Twitter // YouTube

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With Love Bree xx

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© Jasper+Spice 2019. All Rights Reserved. Please do not use without my permission. This post was not sponsored, all photos and graphics are of my own creation.

Taking Mental Health Days + Late Night Creativity!

Heyo Bookaholics!

Some Food For Thought!

So not sure if you’ve noticed yet, but from January 1st 2019, my posting has been a bit funny. Posts are going live around 12:00 to 1:00 AM with the intention of it being related to the following day; with this one being no different. For people in other time-zones, this may not be an issue to any of you; and thank goodness I live in Australia, but I’ve noticed it and wanted to address the issue.

You’re probably wondering “Why is she mentioning all of this?” and “Where did the #FinnFuryRevolution posts go?” Well, there is a simple reason, but this post isn’t just going to be about that.

When I started this 30-days-of-Blogging, I expected to have my posts scheduled (on maybe the following day) and at least a draft ready on WordPress to post at a reasonable time (say 8pm). But that didn’t really happen. Or it did, just to a lesser extent than I had hoped – but we have all year to improve!

I plan all of my posts out into a journal that looks a lot like this (on right). I love handwriting and I find it an easier way to express all of my ideas. Planning is only one-third of the work though, the other two-thirds is to get the post written then edited/ presentable for publishing. The latter is what happens at 11:50pm.

Scene: I’ve just closed up my auditing (or taxation) exercise book. I’m watching a YouTube video on my phone and preparing myself for bed. 30 minutes later (don’t judge me), I’m cozied up in bed, laptop on my knees, WordPress open in my browser and my blog journal open next to me. It’s time to get creative.

I’m not sure if it’s just me, or if I’m just far more creative at night, and logical in the morning but my motivation to do different tasks is strange depending on the time of day it is.

Why Am I More Creative At Night?! Basically, the brain is weird. The frontal cortex in our human brain processes dopamine and sends the message to us saying: “Hey dude you are like so tired, mind catching some sleep?” The body starts to lose steam, slowing down but not shutting down (because that’d be narcolepsy). The general gist here is that exhaustion spurs creativity because I’m so tired that I go “f*ck it!” and really couldn’t care less about what happens, and damn I am so happy for that!

So here I am, at 12am, lying on my bed and trying to tell you all why my posts are late-ish, and that okay. I’m also really procrastinating talking about the main topic of this post: Taking Mental Health Days.

I was originally going to make this post an apology, about why I hadn’t posted for two days in a row when I had promised 30 days of posting, but then I realised: “Why would I apologise on a blog? Instead, I’ll make a post with a message.” 

It’s okay to take breaks.

After some thought, I realised that no, I don’t need to apologise for your breaks, I need to use them to improve myself and talk about an important topic to my audience. Taking breaks is important. We need to take breaks for many reasons and you should not feel guilty if your break from something you love/ are committed to is caused by either of the following:

  • The activity is causing you to feel stressed/ anxious/ or mentally sick;
  • The activity needs to be sacrificed in order for you to do more important tasks or tasks that have an impeeding deadline;
  • You are feeling mentally sick and need a break;
  • You are having fun in the real world;
  • Any other reason that isn’t laziness.

The last point is completely necessary. Laziness is the number 1 reason that people fail to do things they love. True laziness is when someone who is mentally and physically healthy just plain refuses to do something for well no reason at all (and they know it!).

I have only once attempted a 30-Day-Blogging Challenge like this one once before (two years ago) and I didn’t succeed. Not because I didn’t try, but because I got so busy I never finished it. I am 100% proud of the progress I made back then and that is subconsciously why I am dedicated to doing well at this challenge I have set myself – even if I do deviate from the prompts a little bit.

So yes, I took those two days off of blogging as I was feeling very down and kind of broken the past week and a half, and I just needed some time away from my computer and with my knitting needles for a rejuvenation session. I also had to prioritise my auditing homework over blogging one of those nights as I was being very slow, but in my mood, I did manage to write 1,000 words for my novel REALISE.

The break helped greatly, I am back and thriving and ready to deliver all the amazing blog post ideas I have planned in my head (soon to be on paper). I am loving doing this 30-Day-Blogging as it has taught me prioritisation and let me realise just how much I love to write posts and share my own original content!

Thank you for reading xxx Make sure you get your sleep and have a wonderful second half of your week!

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It’s okay to take a break.

Look after yourself and give yourself the praise and relaxation that you deserve.

Leave your opinions in the comments or alternatively on my social media channels!
Instagram // Goodreads // Twitter // YouTube

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With Love Bree xx

I'm a Book Depository Affiliate! Get Free Shipping on ALL BOOKS Everywhere!
 
© Jasper+Spice 2019. All Rights Reserved. Please do not use without my permission. This post was not sponsored, all photos and graphics are of my own creation.

The Unique Blogger Award!

Heyo Bookaholics!

I have been chosen!

The lovely Rachel at Beach Bookworm Blog has kindly tagged me and some other lovely bloggers to answer three questions of her own creation. You can read the original post on her blog by clicking the link above. I am so grateful to have my blog recognised and I really appreciate these kinds of tags where the tagger gets to ask questions to people they tag.

As is custom, the rules are as follows:
1. Display the award!
2. Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog.
3. Answer the questions they’ve written for you!
4. Nominate 8-13 bloggers and give them three questions in the spirit of sharing love and solidarity within our blogging family!

The above button was created by me, but anyone I tagged in this post is free to use it with credit x

The Questions!

What is the first book you read by yourself?

I’d be seriously surprised if anyone who began reading at a young age remembers this because I do not as I was in Primary School, but I do know that the readers we were to take home were very thin around 20-30 pages even smaller.

How many physical books do you own?

I believe I counted this recently, but because my definition of ‘recently’ is like 4 months ago and I’m a compulsive book buyer (like many of you reading this), I can probably say I have either close to or exactly 200 books in my personal library.

Whether they be on my shelf or in my wardrobe, all of them are in some way on display and countable at any moment.

Now is not that moment…

What is one or some of your bad book habit(s)?

I wouldn’t call it a ‘bad habit’ per say but I would say that something compulsive that people would be annoyed at would be my obsessiveness to keep all of my paperbacks in the most pristine condition, even the ARCs I receive.

I treat my books with the utmost care and will even inconvenience my reading experience to avoid breaking the spine at all costs. Even a small bend in the corner feels like a stab to my heart.

I just really want these books to last generations because the act of gifting a book that you once loved for another to read is amazing especially through generations in a family and I don’t want to destroy that now.

My Questions:

  • How does/ has reading help you in your everyday life?

  • What is the craziest thing you’ve done to get your hands on a particular copy of a book?

  • What do you think makes you a unique blogger?

Nominations:

Tracy @TruffleReads

Sarah @WrittenWordWorlds

Wing-Yee @BibliophilicMedStudent

Danielle @TheChroniclesofDanielle

Jamieson @JamiShelves

Amber @TheLiteraryPhoenix (Her blog is stunning!)

Laura @GreenTea&Paperbacks

Lauren @WonderlessReviews

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Would you like me to do more tags on my blog??

Leave your opinions in the comments or alternatively on my social media channels!
Instagram // Goodreads // Twitter // YouTube

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With Love Bree xx

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I'm a Book Depository Affiliate! Get Free Shipping on ALL BOOKS Everywhere!
 
© Jasper+Spice 2018. All Rights Reserved. Please do not use without my permission. This post was not sponsored, all photos and graphics are of my own creation.

Planned Conversations (SW#18) : Therapy

Heyo Bookaholics!

Some things cannot stay in my head…

Therapy

“So I’ve decided not to take the medication.” My therapist and I had just settled into our respective seats facing each other when I broke the news – if it is even ‘news’ at all. I’d been thinking on her proposal for two weeks now, but deep down I knew, I really knew that medication isn’t the right thing for me.

“Why? I think you should consider it.” She replied, leaning forward in her chair slightly, shuffling around, then leaning back again comfortably. I knew where she was coming from, and yes I’d most certainly considered it. One can only consider something for so long before making up their mind.

She said it last week that medication would give me some time to calm my physiological symptoms and focus on working on my mental ones. It sounded appealing and quite tempting but I said no, though not without reasons of course.

“I don’t want to have an easy way.” I began, taking a deep breath to continue but she stole my floor. Maybe that wasn’t the best way to word what I wanted to say, but it’s what came out first. Agh.

“It won’t be cheating.” she started, but I cut her off before she could repeat herself; again. The same spiel I’d even said to myself before I’d heard it aloud from her.

“Oh I know that, but my mind is effed up. I don’t think it’s cheating per say, more like.” I paused again looking for the right words. “Ignorning.” My brain actually came up with something decent for once. Good job brain, mental pay on the back for you. “I’ll ignore it and put off my recovery of my mental state because well to me it’ll be fixed physically I can deal with the mental shit later.” I was just rambling again like I usually do; I guess maybe this shows the progress of how well I’ve come to identify my weaknesses.

I’m sure she was used to my ramblings and self-depreciating talks by now, but I still feel bad when I did it. Though for some odd reason I could control my ramblings when in this room, so I stopped speaking and scratched my nose a little. Don’t judge, it was itchy and I think there was crusty bit hiding away.

“But that’s why you come here isn’t it?” She took my pause, and subsequent internal monologue as a cue to talk. I would’ve done the same if in her position; the question was relevant though (thankfully) and lead me to my next point.

“Yes, but you know how bad my procrastination is?” Some reason that came out as a question, regardless I continued talking, confident in my argument. Or as confident as I can be when the introductory paragraph of my final exam essay begins with ‘In this essay…’.

“I want to work on that first. My work ethic and avoidance bullshit is something I need to fix first. I honestly believe it’s 99% of my problems.” I took a deep breath, stupidly fearing her response; and yes, I am so thinking of that 99 problems meme. Sue me.

“Look it’s up to you, but just keep it in mind.” She sounded wary but not trying to push anything, probably fearing my mental instability and glad for the lack of windows as she saw me eyeing the door.

I wasn’t intentionally looking for, or thinking of an escape, I just needed a place to look other than her eyes (too intimidating) and I just so happened to choose the door which just so happens to lead outside, a place I’m thinking I want to be more than here. Don’t get me wrong, I actually liked being here it’s a good reprieve from my hectic life, but there were some things that even I felt hard admitting to myself.

Often times I feel ashamed and horrified I could even conjure up such thoughts and I hide my face, my eyes, all the ways one could look past my happy-go-lucky facade. I would break down and tell everything, or I’d keep it inside, far too deep that even I didn’t know the seed existed until I leave the sessions. Maybe I should tell her that?

Her voice breaks my thoughts. “Are you okay?” I look up at her face a painting of soft concern. All her intentions are to help me in every way possible and if she’s spending her time with me, I could spend just as much time on myself to get better.

“I think so.” I reply back, glad to have someone with me. Glad to have spoken the truth of how I feel. First I take charge of my actions then I’ll conquer my thoughts; at least I hope it works like that.

“So tell me.” She starts again; not entirely dismissing our earlier conversation, rather starting afresh; as if our earlier exchange happened yesterday. “How have you been?” I answer truthfully and simply, going into detail where I see fit. This isn’t a hard question for a chatterbox like me and I calm down talking about myself while she takes notes and listens, her facial expressions matching accordingly.

Part 2 of ‘It’s Only A Game’ will be up next week xx 2

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Leave your opinions in the comments or alternatively on my social media channels!
Instagram // Goodreads // Twitter // YouTube

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1

With Love Bree xx

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I'm a Book Depository Affiliate! Get Free Shipping on ALL BOOKS Everywhere!
 
© Jasper+Spice 2018. All Rights Reserved. Please do not use without my permission. This post was not sponsored, all photos and graphics are of my own creation.

I Wasn’t Home Alone… (Short Story)

Heyo Bookaholics!

Unlike the last two StoryTimes, this story is not a true experience rather something that had sprouted from my wild imagination when I was actually home alone. This post is mostly inspired by YouTube storytellers such as LoeyLane and Hailey Reese who, with their stories are slowly eradicating my fear of the dark and the creatures within it, one story at a time. Their stories have given me the courage to write this story for you all today (even at 12am).



They had left me.

Finally I was home alone. I’d annoyed them so so much to let me stay home alone for the five days that they’d be gone, and they eventually relented; but now Continue reading “I Wasn’t Home Alone… (Short Story)”

Dissociation (Short Story)

Heyo Bookaholics!

It only happens for a brief moment, but I feel as if I’ve opened my eyes into a virtual reality. Everything is as I remember it and my day hasn’t seemed to change in the slightest; but it is as if I am looking through the eyes of another. Then I’m back.

The tingles up my back and arms lets me know that I’m in my own body again. Back looking through my own eyes, nothing seems amiss, though I do feel more comfortable than I had just moments ago.

I flip my hands over in front of my eyes; and yes these are my own hands, chipped nail polish and all.

I read on tumblr once that the feeling of dissociation is a symptom of Continue reading “Dissociation (Short Story)”

Uni + Writing Update

Heyo Bookaholics!

I feel like I haven’t spoken to you all in a while, so for today’s post I wanted to update you all on the happenings of my recently event filled life-outside-of-blogging.

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It has been a very eventful few weeks this past month and a half,  though I’ve managed to post fairly frequently and I am proud to say that I have completed yet another Continue reading “Uni + Writing Update”

11 Facts About Me!!

Heyo Bookaholics!

Today I’ve decided to do a little bit of a fun, light post which is all about me! It’s 1 day till my birthday and I want to talk about myself.

BUT!

Before starting this post, I would like to give an update regarding my Wednesday post that was about How I Plan To Balance Blogging and Uni, and just say that I am currently Continue reading “11 Facts About Me!!”